last weekend i was at a place called ollie's. it was the kind of place where you have to buy a $5 drink token at the door when you first arrive. the 2nd room was reserved for jessica, for her birthday. when jessica and company showed up, you knew which one was jessica. she looked like a sparkly rhinestone. when it was time, they brought out a money tree. the ugliest girl in town asked me to dance with her (she had a unibrow and a fivehead) because she "felt bad" for me standing alone for a minute. anyway, the money tree was disquieting, not completely material, and looked like something out of a bela shayevich drawing.
horrible. though actually the other day i decided that if i am ever rich i will have a money booth and before you leave my house you get to stand in it for five seconds and leave with all the money you can catch. on the other side of my door, there will be a thing that drops slime on your head with a tendency to "accidentaly" go off.