"Listening to the Pretty Toney album on the elliptical"
Going to the gym makes me have a lot of feelings. Some of these feelings have to do with gym bitches. The first time one of these amazing people made my head explode was one day when I was stretching only to find myself distracted by some gyrations in my peripheral vision. I turned my head to see oh shit some bitch hyper-vinyasaing while reading the New Yorker and listening to her favorite songs on her iPod shuffle. Holy fucking shit.
Especially when they know backwards yoga or something, trying to exercise next to a super gym bitch is like trying to disobey a talking dog. Fuck it. Next time I saw that girl she was on the treadmill with sunglasses on, kind of tapping her toes not touching the tread waiting for the drums to kick in so that she could start running. Below her, I was about to explode from the continuous hardship of three minutes on the rowing machine. I felt like a galley slave. My ass let out a whimper.